Day 29: Disappointed In Myself

 

Here we go ! It's a new year. Time to get back on track with diet and exercise. The goal is 100 pounds by 12-31-25. Can I do it ? Well, I won't know unless I try. My original Day 29 blog can be found here. Is it a coincidence that I titled it "Be Good To Yourself" ? I'm disappointed in myself as I did not get dressed today and I didn't get even close to getting on the treadmill. However, I did shower and do my skincare. The problem is that took place after 3 pm and there was no way I was going to get dressed and get on the treadmill. I will try again tomorrow !

I was awake before 8 again this morning and despite the cold, the house was surprisingly warm. It was only 8 degrees but the upstairs was at 64 (thermostat is on 65) and the downstairs was the usual 68. I didn't check the laundry room, but it didn't seem super cold out there. I think all the snow piled against the house is acting as insulation ! The highest temp I saw all day was 10 and we are headed to an overnight low of ZERO. Ugh. It's 5:41 pm now and it's 9, according to my phone.

Breakfast was 160 calorie waffles and an 80 calorie yogurt. Lunch was a 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. I also had half of the leftover wonton soup with a package of fried wontons. Dinner was the remaining wonton soup and the last package of fried wontons. I also baked some cornbread swirls that had been sitting in the fridge for a while. The first time I made them I didn't like them. Well, this time I didn't put them in muffin tins AND I reduced the baking time. They were really good ! I ate three of them and that is 510 calories plus the butter spread. Evening snack was a 140 calorie lemon zest cake with whipped cream.

So what did I do with myself today ? You guessed it: YouTube and the online slots. They've been tough today. Most games did nothing but suck my coins dry, but one that did that managed to give me back quite a lot of them. These games run in cycles where they let you win and then they cut you right off. I played over 100M coins and couldn't get a bonus, let alone a big win. That is just not normal and you know it's built into the game's algorithm. The game finally relented and let me win it all back and then some ! I guess I won't uninstall it just yet .. lol ! 

So today didn't go the way I wanted it to, in that I didn't exercise. Here's the thing: I still had the leftover chinese to eat and it's cold outside. So there was no way today would be a Nutrisystem compliant day. I also have an open package of chocolate chip cookies that need to be baked and consumed. I'll get both of these items out of the way today and (hopefully) start fresh tomorrow. The day is supposed to start out super cold but by afternoon we should be up into the 20's, so I should be able to motivate myself out from under my blanket and off the couch. One thing that stopped me today was the fact that I hadn't showered in a couple days. I just couldn't see myself putting clean clothes on my stinky body. Minnie spent a lot of the morning snoozing on my lap, but she got down several times and I could have easily gotten a shower in early. I'll have no such excuse tomorrow ! I'm going to try but I will give myself one more day of grace if it's just too cold to move. Temps will be much milder starting Monday so it will be a good launch point, if necessary.

I'm kind of sad that at this point in my original journey I had lost over 20 pounds. I haven't weighed myself in a couple weeks, so I have no idea if I've gained or lost. I will make an effort to get a weight tomorrow morning, along with that "before" picture. I am so fat and so uncomfortable in this body yet I keep stuffing my face. Sounds so easy to just "snap out of it" .. but it's just not happening this time around. Tonight can be a "last hurrah" or just another day of indulgence. I'll have the last of the wonton soup, the last of the chocolate chip cookies and a mug of hot chocolate. (update: I made cornbread instead of cookies and I skipped the hot chocolate)

This afternoon I was sitting here on the couch and I felt this cold draft on my arm. It was coming from the window, which was odd since all the windows were replaced on 2009 and the walls were sheet rocked in 2018. When I investigated I discovered the sill had a gap and that was where the air was coming from ! I was able to tap it back in place with the hammer, but I can see it's not going to stay. Looks like the nail job was done poorly when the new trim was installed. I'm going to buy some wood glue or caulk and see if that will keep it together. I'll probably wait until warmer weather since I'm not sure it would cure probably when it's this cold. For now the gap is closed and I'll keep an eye on it. I'm leaning towards buying caulk as I think all of the windows might benefit from sealing where the sill and the trim meets. I was thinking about buying some seals to stop the cold air pouring in from my electrical outlets, but I see a lot of mixed reviews that they don't solve the problem. I need to take off an outlet cover and see if it would be better to just stuff some fiberglass insulation in there.

It's 11 pm and I'm not sure what the outdoor temp is. The app on my phone says it's -3. My computer says it's -8. The thermometer in the kitchen window says it's about 6. They keep changing the "low" for today. My phone now says the low will be -5. Regardless ... it's cold outside !! The good news is the temp is supposed to start going up around 2 am. The bad news is we'll likely be in single digits until afternoon. More bad news is we're expecting more snow in the afternoon. A little more good news is we're expecting less than an inch. The forecast for the week ahead looks much better so I'm hoping we've seen the worst of the snow for this winter. Time will tell ! My heat is struggling a little but the space heater keeps the area I'm sitting in warm.