Day 32: One Foot In Front Of The Other

 

Here we go ! It's a new year. Time to get back on track with diet and exercise. The goal is 100 pounds by 12-31-25. Can I do it ? Well, I won't know unless I try. My original Day 32 blog can be found here. It was titled "Never Lose Hope" and that's a good message for me today. Every day I say I'm going to get back on track, and every day I find an excuse. I will say that yesterday was a good day in that I didn't have any extra food and shoveling counted as exercise. I call that a win in the diet & exercise category. I still need to work harder on self care, but I'm getting there. I took a look at yesterday's photos to remind myself of the damage I've done to myself. I'm just glad I didn't do any financial damage over the past couple years. Imagine if I'd been laid off with a ton of debt ! I'm so glad I didn't fall into the casino habit after mom passed. I'm also glad that over the years I continued the 6% contribution to my 401k. As much as I hate to say it, Alex's passing, the fire and my mom's death have all benefited me tremendously. I feel a certain amount of guilt about that, but I offset it by reminding myself none of that is my fault and I've also made a lot of good decisions that benefited me the past 10 years. It's hard to believe Alex has been gone over 10 years. I hope he is at peace. My dad has been gone over 12 years and I still miss him every day. It's only been a bit over 2 years since mom passed and that wound is still raw. She made the decision to forego lifesaving measures and perhaps, for her, that was the right decision. We all agreed later that she was not a strong person and she was unlikely to ever recover to a point where she could be independent again. She would have hated that. My dad was suffering when he passed, with both cancer and dementia, so that was a blessing for him. My mom never stopped missing him so I hope they are together and at peace. Part of what helps me accept that I'm going to be "retired" now the realization that I don't have many good years left. I'm 62 and mom was 82 when she passed. Do I have 20 years ? Who knows ! My intention is to enjoy the years I have left, which is why as soon as the snow is gone I'm getting my butt outside ! I mentioned in a prior blog that I can get in to all State parks for free during the week, so I'm going to take advantage of that as soon as I can ! For now, I'm going to eat my yogurt and play a little online slots !

Breakfast was 160 calorie waffles with sugar free syrup. It's about 11:08 am and I'm going to have an 80 calorie yogurt now. Lunch was a 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. I didn't have a morning or afternoon snack, but I had a 155 calorie protein shake around 5 and earlier I had 3 pretzel roads, which is 110 calories. Dinner was 260 calorie roasted turkey with mashed potatoes and a bowl of green beans. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake with whipped cream.

I went to bed early last night so I was awake and up before 7:30. I wanted to try going back to sleep but I did have to pee and if mama cat was out there waiting in the cold, I didn't want her to have to wait any longer. It was a good choice as she was waiting ! She is chubby and clearly working on another batch of kittens. I'm sad for her but I do the best I can by feeding them and providing the little cat house for a bit of shelter. It was chilly this morning (it's 27 as of 11:38 am) but anything over the teens is an improvement these days ! There is no snow in the forecast today or tomorrow and that is great ! However, the low for tonight is 10 and tomorrow night is 12. I'll have to be sure to open the kitchen cabinets to keep my water warm ! I made it through the latest cold spell with no issue so I think keeping the cabinet open AND not using the faucet on those frosty mornings is the right thing to do ! The things you learn from YouTube ! Post10 talked about the flash freezing of water lines, so that's where I got that idea. He also taught me that when you discard tin cans you should squish them so an animal can't get their head inside it. I never thought of that even though I've seen plenty of video's with animals in that situation !

I spent the first couple hours of the morning watching YouTube and playing online slots. I ran through all the ones that have been stingy with coins and actually had a little luck on a couple of them. I did the challenges and then saved what coins I had left. About 10:30 I hauled my fat ass to the shower. I took the time to clear the little holes in the sprayer and the spray is much gentler. The hard water really builds up in all my faucets. Yesterday I scrubbed the kitchen sink to address the mineral build up and I got about 90% of it off. There is still buildup around the spout, so I will give that another go soon. I may try saturating some paper towels with white vinegar and see if that will dissolve some of it. One achievement of note is that I've managed to wash dishes every day and the kitchen counter & stove remain clean. I'm also keeping the laundry room sink clean. Moving the cat food prep out there was such a great idea !

My plan for the rest of the day is to throw some laundry in and get at least one workout in on the treadmill. I already made a protein shake, so it's ready to go ! For now I'm going to do my skincare and then fire up my newest slot machine, Jackpot World. I went from 6M starting coins to well over 4B last night, but we'll see if the wins and bonuses drop off over time. If they do I'll just uninstall it. I tried 2 other games yesterday and both took all the free coins within minutes, so I uninstalled both of them.

I weighed myself before my shower and I think the scale in the kitchen needs a battery as it took 3 tries to get a reading and when I did, it said 275. I would LOVE to believe that number but I know better. The scale upstairs read 288 and I'm more inclined to believe that. I'll swap out the batteries and see what reading I get tomorrow since I'm already dressed for the day. I checked in on my bank account and my federal tax refund is now available. That money and my unemployment will cover all the bills for the next couple of months. My car insurance payment posted so all I'm waiting on is the payment for my property taxes to post. Part of my Disney order is supposed to be delivered tomorrow. For some reason the t-shirt was shipped separately and will be delivered Thursday. I'm not sure if they will drop it at the house or the post office. I think I heard UPS stopped their "last mile" arrangement with the USPS .. I guess we'll see what happens !

Well, I finally did it ! I got on the treadmill today ! It was nearly 6 pm but all that matter is I did it ! I've restarted part 1 of Tommy Riv's Road to Recovery series. I think this will be the 3rd time I've done it ! The workout was only 10m50s plus my 6 minute warm up/cool down, but that is nearly 17 minutes that I didn't sit on the couch ! I haven't been on the treadmill since October, so this was a big deal ! The next workout is 11m37s, so just slightly longer. I'm going with the slow pace for now. I will know when I'm ready to challenge myself a little more. For now I'm just happy I got myself back on there and was able to get through the entire workout. I didn't have my Fitbit on, so I'm not sure what impact it had on my heart rate. I haven't been wearing the Fitbit as I had a bit of a rash from the band. I'm going to start just putting it on while I work out. It's odd because I've worn the Fitbit for years with no problem. Perhaps I need to clean the band more often.

I spent most of the day watching YouTube and playing the online slots. Tomorrow I think I'll need to drag myself away from that and go to gas up the car and buy a few groceries. The weather forecast shows the possibility of snow Thursday through Sunday. I'd like to get another bag of dry food for the strays and the items needed to make that cucumber & onion salad. I might try to get my oil changed since I'll be near that place. We'll see !

I'm proud to have hit all the marks today and brushing my teeth when I go to bed will finish off the day. I showered. I did skin care. I exercised. I ate right. What more can you ask for ? I did undereat a bit today, so I may find myself extra hungry tomorrow. We'll see how it goes ! I do still have one thing to work on and that is drinking enough water. It didn't even cross my mind today ! All I've had today is 3 cups of coffee, a protein shake and 1/2 a bottle of diet coke.

Whenever I'm hungry I think about those photos I took yesterday. I just looked at them again and I am still horrified. I will think about those photos when I'm in the grocery store and see the baked goods or other things I don't need ! On that note, it's almost 10:30 and I'm getting tired so I'm heading for bed !