Day 41: Down But Never Out

 

Here we go ! It's a new year. Time to get back on track with diet and exercise. The goal is 100 pounds by 12-31-25. Can I do it ? At this point, probably not but I'm going to keep trying. My original Day 41 blog can be found here. It was just another work day, nothing remarkable.

I was awake just after 6 today, probably because of the plow or the machine they use to clear the sidewalks. As much as I wanted to go back to sleep, I decided to get up and start my day. I'm glad I did as mama cat was out there waiting to eat. Poor thing was wet as it was raining. The orange male was out there too, so I fed them both. He was mounting her for some reason. She's already clearly pregnant, so I'm not sure what is up with that. Google says it's just him picking up on her hormones.

I was sitting here playing my slot games and watching YouTube when I started to hear water dripping. It was coming off the roof and hitting the outside of the kitchen window. Later I saw a steady stream of water pouring donw the window. Then I heard water dripping again. Worried about roof leaks I walked around the house and the sound was outside. All the ceilings were fine in the downstairs. I went upstairs to look and discovered a brown stain on the ceiling in the spare bedroom ! It looks dry but I'm glad I looked. I got the stepstool and looked up in the attic. I can see where one roof board has been wet but there was no dripping. I'm thinking one of the screws that holds the metal roof is allowing water in and just needs some sealant on it. I have a can of spray paint I can use to cover the brown stain so I'll do that and then keep an eye on it. I may have the guy that installed the roof take a look once the snow is gone. Even though it's not an emergency situation, it still rattled me. Unexpected expenses like roof repairs can really hurt when you don't have a job or are on a fixed income. Not long after my excursion to the attic some snow slid off the roof by the kitchen window and that was the end of the stream of water coming down the window. I had looked out the bathroom window to ensure there wasn't a lot of snow on that section of roof, and there wasn't. I can see now why people were working on shoveling off their roofs the past couple days - the rain just adds to the weight of the snow !

I see now how crippling anxiety can be. You can't just "get over it" sometimes. This new issue cropping up really threw me for a loop. This winter just needs to end fast ! Even my slot machine games are not fun today. Jackpot World took all my coins in minutes, and I'm really sad about that. Even so, I have plenty of coins on Dancing Drums. Quick Hits even let me win some AND they've given access to all games for a couple days, so I can play my old casino favorites. 

Breakfast today was 180 calorie Eggo waffles. I also had the last of the cherry pie with some whipped cream. Lunch was a pizza. Dinner was 220 calorie rotini & meatballs. Evening snack was a pint of Ben & Jerry's strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Oh well.

It's now even 11 am but I feel like I've been up forever ! If it wasn't raining I'd walk over to the chinese place and get some food. I may end up doing that if the rain stops. Comfort, here I come ! I think I'm developing cabin fever. I really and truly do not ever remember a winter like this. Doug was saying 2015 was like this, but I just don't remember that. Maybe I would feel different if I was getting out of the house more. I used to go to the casino with mom every Saturday so I always had that to look forward to. This winter I've had rock & roll bingo to look forward to, but with Kim & Joe in Florida I don't have that for a couple weeks. I'm hoping the snow will be on it's way out by the time they get back. It's already February 13 .. winter has got to end soon !

In positive (sorta) news, the tax payments for my amended returns were withdrawn from my account so at least that is taken care of. I also received the transfer of the $37.95 refund from ATT, so I can cancel that prepaid card. I will still be monitoring my account to ensure they don't try to deduct any additional payments. Given I've received a refund, I don't think I have to worry. I checked in on my other accounts and all is good. My Disney purchase will be on the next statement. Financially, things are looking good and I hope it stays that way !

It's 11:15 now and all I can think about is eating ! I'm going to go take a shower to get that off my mind. Then I may play some slots or Cookie Jam. I am really, really sad that Jackpot World has stopped being generous with free coins. Considering I spend no money on purchases and they don't show ads, there is no reason for them to keep me on the app. They will never make any money off me. All the other apps have ads, but as I've mentioned some are good with coins and wins and others are not. This is why I typically play for a while and then end up deleting all the apps. 

It's 10:30 now and I'm going to be heading to bed soon. I did take a shower and get dressed and I felt better after that. I spent the afternoon watching YouTube, scrolling my phone and playing online slots. Jackpot World is still being stingy, so I'm just collecting free coins until I build up a good supply. CluBillion is being stingy, so I've pretty much lost interest in that app. Quick Hits and Dancing Drums have been more generous with coins, but 88 Fortunes is not. This game has minimum bets starting at 75M and their free coins are not nearly enough to keep you playing for more than a couple minutes. Obviously all these apps want you to buy coins, but I will never do that. There are thousands of apps so I can dump the ones that won't pay and try other ones. I actually just installed one called Cash Club. In less than an hour the 5M coins you start with has grown to over 400M. This app is a lot like Jackpot World - it has a lot of "stuff" to collect coins from. The games are also like JW in that they're not real casino games. Some of them are clear knock offs of the real thing, like one with pigs that imitates Rich Piggies. One thing I don't like about it is many games are locked to specific levels, so you can't play them all. I'm already at level 24 so hopefully the levels are designed to let you move up quickly. The games were a good distraction today ! (update: by 11:30 Cash Club had taken all of my coins. I'll give it a couple days, but I will likely uninstall it. Win win win became lose lose lose pretty fast !)

We've been experiencing high winds since this afternoon, so I went out on the front porch to make sure the windows were all intact. I pushed in a gasket on one that I repaired back in August (now that I know how!), but the one I fixed yesterday was fine. I noticed a couple other windows have cracks and I'm going to try a temporary fix on them. Walmart sells a clear plastic tape that is made for window cracks. The cracks I saw today are at the top of the panes, so it'll be easy enough to take the window out and apply the tape on both sides of the glass. I can replace the panes with plexiglass later on. The building across the street always blocked the wind but now that it's gone my porch gets hit with the full brunt of the wind. I suspect I'll end up replacing all the windows before long. At least I know how to fix them and it's easy enough to take the window frames to Lowe's and have them cut the plexiglass to fit. I also put the screens halfway down the windows I could across the front. They help provide some extra stability to keep the windows intact. At this point I just really want winter to be over. Spring will be here exactly 5 weeks from today ! It cannot get here soon enough ! As soon as the snow is gone my ass is getting the hell out of this house. I am going to find places to walk and then do it !

We had a quick blast of snow a little while ago and we're under a winter storm warning until 1 am Saturday. That being said, the forecast doesn't show any snow for us tomorrow. This has been the worst winter of my life. I feel so isolated and alone. I haven't really wanted another man in my life, but boy it would be nice to have someone to rely on when things like the window and the roof leak happen. Sure, I can handle them but it would be nice to have someone else take the lead now and then.

I didn't go and get chinese today, but I may do so tomorrow if we're not in the midst of a blizzard. It's Valentine's Day, so I guess that will be my gift to myself. I was thinking today about Valentine's Day 2010. I was in the hospital and Alex brought me this giant shopping bag full of chocolate. Talk about best day ever ! He also brought me a stuffed heart that hung on on my IV pole until the end of my treatment. He had a lot of faults but he really and truly did have a good heart, no pun intended. I think he did the best he could. My heart has softened toward him as I've gotten older. It's hard to believe he's been gone over 10 years now.

I just keep telling myself things will get better once winter is over. I've learned some lessons this winter that I'll be sure to keep in mind next winter. I can't let the snow pile up along the windows again. If I shovel it away as it falls, it'll be easy to keep up with. I also can't let the back step get inundated with snow. I need to shovel away as much of that as I can too. I also want to buy a snow pusher. If I use something like that as the snow falls, I can push it out into the yard. It would mean less shoveling ! I also need to make sure all my window screens are pushed up to the upper part of the windows. Hopefully I'll prepare to do all these things and we'll have a mild winter ! I'm just glad that my instinct is to turn to food for comfort, rather than alcohol. I have a ton of wine, hard cider and other alcohol that could easily become a problem if that were a source of comfort for me during these long winters. If the weather is really nice tomorrow I "might" consider going to Wegman's for some chocolate covered strawberries. It would do me good to take the car out again.

On that note, I'm going to pack up my troubles and head to bed. The winds are supposed to end soon, so I'm hoping all my windows remain intact. I'll check them again tomorrow.