Day 42 through 45: Really Struggling

Here we go ! It's a new year. Time to get back on track with diet and exercise. The goal is 100 pounds by 12-31-25. Can I do it ? At this point, probably not but I'm going to keep trying. My original Day 42, 43, 44 and 45 blogs can be found here, here, here and here. Day 42 was a vacation day as we had a blizzard overnight. Day 43 was an uneventful work day. Day 44 was a weigh in and I only lost 1.4 pounds and was disappointed. Day 45 was a Sunday and it was uneventful.

So where have I been ? Sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself ! The snow and cold weather has been relentless and I just let anxiety and cabin fever get the best of me. Day 42 was Valentine's Day and for me it was just another day. Day 43 was Saturday, Day 44 was Sunday and today is Monday, Day 45. I spent the last 4 days on the couch watching YouTube and playing my online slots. It's a good thing I didn't buy a ton of "emergency" food during my last shopping trip as I would have spent the past 4 days eating it all. I did finish off the chocolate chip cookies but I haven't eaten the pint of peanut butter cup ice cream yet ! I haven't been on the treadmill and I have no excuse for that. I've erratic with showering and I have no excuse for that either. I actually enjoyed just catching up with my YouTuber's and playing the slots. However, I did take some action on the snow yesterday. We've had so much snow that it was halfway up the windows along the driveway. That has really bothered me and I cringed every time snow slipped off the roof and little pieces of ice banged against the glass. I was so afraid of the windows getting broken ! The day I got the car stuck Doug had mentioned he could use his tractor to move all that snow, so yesterday I finally asked him how much that would cost. He said "fortyish" dollars based on an hour of work, but it took him longer than an hour. I expected $100, so I'll pay him more if he asks for it. Anyhow, he was done by about 4:30 and I felt like I had been released from prison ! It is so nice to be able to look out the windows again ! Towards the end of his work Minnie was watching from the living room window. It was so cute ! We had a few inches of snow overnight and could see a bit more today, but the wind is more of a concern. It's nice that it's President's Day, so a lot of people have the day off and I believe schools are closed. 

So even though I haven't written, nothing earth shattering has been going on. I mostly didn't write because Minnie spent most of each day snoozing in my lap and there was no way I was going to dump her off my lap for this nonsense. For some reason today she decided to snooze on the back of the couch after our initial morning snuggle while I had my breakfast and first cup of coffee. By the time I got back to the couch after getting my second cup of coffee, she was curled up on the back of the couch and had no interest in moving.

My only goal for today is to shower, do skin care and brush my teeth. I'm not going to force exercise as I'm hanging on by a thread mentally. This winter has been really, really hard for me. I would like to believe things will get better when the snow melts ! I've said I can't remember a winter this bad, but Doug said 2015 was bad and I've seen mention of it online as well. Winter of 2015 would have been just after Alex died and in all honestly, I may have been in better financial shape but my house was a disaster - so I can't say I was "doing better" back then.

My online slot games continue to be up and down. I was really struggling to gain any coins or wins on CluBillion, but to my amazement I won a $200B grand jackpot yesterday afternoon ! I was shocked ... but then I noticed I didn't get credited with the coins ! WTH ! I wait a bit and refreshed the game a couple times, but that didn't help. I ended up reaching out to customer support and to my amazement, when I pulled up the game today they had sent me the coins ! We'll see how long they last ! Dancing Drums had been very generous with coins and I've played a lot, but they don't have a ton of games. 88 Fortunes continues to be a struggle. They let you win a little but then take it all back with their insane minimum bets. Quick Hits also lets me win a bit but it never lasts. Jackpot World is a huge disappointment. I can't seem to win anything and the coins I earn disappear fast. Cash Club is on it's way out of my rotation as I don't like the games much and it's hard to win there too. This is no surprise and I find I prefer the apps that have the real casino games anyway.