Day 148 through 151: Starting Over

 

Time for a new mission statement. My goal for 2025 was to lose 100 pounds by 12-31-25 but I've failed miserably. At some point I need to pick myself up and try. A realistic goal at this point is 50 pounds by 12-31-25, so that is where I will start. When will I start ? I don't know .. do I need a "starting point" ? I don't. Every day that I don't "start" just adds to my misery. I plan to just take each day as it comes and do what I can to move closer to where I want to be. Life has changed and I haven't been able to adapt just yet.

Sigh. Here I am "catching up" the blog again. I think I avoid writing because I am continually writing about what I am NOT doing. Actually, I know this is why I'm not writing. That's my avoidant personality disorder showing up. So Friday, Saturday and Sunday were unremarkable, in that I didn't go anywhere or do much of anything. I watched YouTube and played the online slots. I won a ton of coins on Jackpot World and spent the entire weekend playing. Naturally I spent them all but I truly enjoyed myself, so it is what it is. 

Today dawned warmer than it has been and the sun was out. I got up just after 9, fed the cats and then checked in with my slots and YouTube while I had my breakfast. In an effort to get back to my routine, I made my bed as soon as I got up ! I used to do that every day and I haven't done it in forever ! I also showered and got dressed before noon ! I also managed to get myself on the treadmill shortly after 3 pm. Today's workout was 13m36s plus the usual wu/cd (warm-up and cool down).

From a food perspective, I'm slowly running out of all the "junk" I had in the house. The bag of Twix is gone. The seasoned pretzels are gone. Fudge is nearly gone. I sliced it up and have a slice or two in the evening. My Nutrisystem delivery came on Saturday so all products are fully restocked. The key to my success is going to be resisting the urge to buy stuff I shouldn't be eating. I've proven over and over that I cannot exercise moderation.

Today I had Eggo waffles for breakfast (180 calories) and much later I had an 80 calorie yogurt. I also had a 155 calorie protein shake. The shake mix is 120 but I add 1T of peanut butter powder and that is 35 calories. I had lunch around 4:30 and that was a 230 calorie beef, bean & cheese burrito with salsa and some low fat sour cream.

My goals for today are simple, as I write this at 4:46 pm. I want to return to my former "routine". Make the bed when you get up. Check. Eat per the Nutrisystem plan. Check (so far). Shower. Check. Skincare. Check. Get dressed. Check. Exercise at least once. Check. Brush teeth at bedtime. It doesn't get much easier than that. It's not a big ask !

The routine above is all about self care and well being. However, I also have a home to care for and I haven't been doing a good job of that for years. There are 2 reasons for this. Lack of routine and lack of consistency. Sound familiar ? It should - because a lack of routine and a lack of consistency affects every aspect of your life ! I do things here and there but I'm not consistent and I tend to avoid the hard jobs. I'm having a really good day today and I want to do better. I did end up vacuuming my bedroom yesterday and that was long overdue ! I have no excuse for not doing it, since the vacuum cleaner has been sitting in my bedroom for months. However, I didn't vacuum the hallway or put away the Christmas decor that has been lingering on the floor outside the spare room. Speaking of which, the spare room is a disaster and I need to address that before the heat of summer arrives.

I'm actually glad I spent most of the coins on JW, otherwise I'd have spent all day today playing the game. I was fortunate to have enough left to get through today's challenges. They threw me a curveball though. Challenge #2 was to pass 11 levels ! That's a lot and they've never required that many. Dancing Drums remains consistent with nice wins. 88 Fortunes is hanging in there too. CluBillion has become really boring and tedious and the challenges are time consuming, so I've uninstalled it. I wish I could just put them all aside !

As an aside, it's been a year since I lost my job and I've stopped thinking about that loss. I like being able to do whatever I want and the goal now is to survive financially until I'm 65 and eligible for Medicare. I'll be 63 in August and although I could collect SS now, I'd really like to wait until I'm 65. Will the $65k in the bank last that long ? I really need to be conservative if I want that to happen. The nice thing is my IRA has rebounded. The balance is up to $407k, so in a year I've made about $31k ! I also have a pension I can start collecting at any time. My 6 month severance payment really helped me get here. The 26 weeks of unemployment is also helping. My tax refund this year was a huge help too. I won't get a big refund next year, but I might be eligible for some tax credits that I've never been able to get. My only "income" for next year will be my bonus, my unemployment and interest on my savings. My income for 2026 will be nothing other than interest, unless I'm forced to start collecting my pension, SS or take from my IRA. We'll see if I can make it to 2027 !

Well, it's just about 7 pm and instead of getting on the treadmill again I'm going to clean up the kitchen and laundry room. I also have to feed Minnie and make my dinner.